Thursday, September 15, 2005

The conscious subconscious........



was the vacation of 8th std..as usual my alarm sounded at 5:30 am..I dressed up in my tracks, put on the shoes and was ready to welcome yet another day, with a jog up a hillock and see the sun wake up..
but, something was strange about this morning..things were seemingly not the same..no signs of light streaks midst broken clouds..no chirping of birds..instead, mongrels kept barking at my presence..but the urge to reach my friend's house and wake him up, kept me going ..not far had i gone, i heard a whistle coming from the direction of a dark street..this wasn't of course the "start whistle" for a marathon.. in no time, a night cop was holding me..seeing that he meant no harm, i sighed..he asked me politely :

"kid, what's the time?" ..
i had no watch..like a weatherman who'd extrapolate the time based on wind direction and cloud formations, i started looking at the sky ( was cloudy, no signs of light..but, my alram had sounded
10 mins ago..and there was my animated reply..)..
"must be 5:45 sir ??" ..
i saw a smirk on the cop's face..which encouraged me to think that the cop was appreciating my child genius :) ..soon, the smirk turned into a scowl..his grip on my arms tightened and back came the reply
"kid, it's 2:30..where do you stay?" ..

my shivering hands were pointing to my home, hardly visible in the dark..i don't remember how i dodged the dogs and mirk to reach home in record time..
i saw light in my home..my mom had woken up and she was searching for me..being a show off, I tried to hide my folly and said " get me a new alarm..it rings when it wants.."..guess i saw my dad grinning.. and no one except me had heard that alarm..
Now, i had to justify myself..to my conscience..that the alarm HAD sounded
i checked the alarm if something was really wrong..it was flawless..it hadn't made a sound, more than
the usual ticking..
when it was ringing at 5:30, i crossed checked the time with 2 other watches and made sure it was 5:30..everything seemed normal..

At times I have found myself doing things and later wondering if it was ME who really did it..

We just tend to forget how strong is a mind buried deep inside us, the subconscious mind..experienced by all of us, in varying amounts..sometimes scaring us and most of the times guiding us through..
the way we react to situations, way we behave when no one is observing us, is not a result of our conscious mind..the control sits still deep within..

now, let me come to the incident which is forcing me write this huge blog patiently....
very recently, i realized that i must be jogging in the morning..But, getting up in the morning seems impossible ( 'coz my subconscious mind drags my sleeping body to the alarm. shuts it off graciously, without my knowledge !! ).
.So, i thought I'd take the help of my friend aishwarya in waking me up.
a commanding voice on the other end "wake up..it's time"..really wakes me up ( I guess, till my subconscious mind gets used to it :) )..
2 days back, i woke up to see my cell ringing
I answered the call.."hello"..
the voice from the other end seemed familiar..but, something was strange ( my preconscious mind was at play )
it was aish calling "hello..wake up.."
I was about to thank her, my eyes fell on the alarm clock ..it was 1:10 am !! I trust my clock.. and aish's wake-up call, even more so..
i cross checked with the time on my cell..it was 1:04 am..
this is when my conscious mind took over..
I asked "whey're you calling me now? "...
"because i'm supposed to........" was the reply !!
..if my roommate's snoring wasn't being heard in the background, i'd have had an attack..
I said "aish..what's the time? " ..
"........5:15" ..the long pauses were scaring me..I knew something was fishy..
I now get the hint that aish was talking in her sleep..
to wake her up, i shouted
"..you know what's the time.."..
all i heard was sound of some keystrokes on her cell..a long pause..and "..5:15"..
i was running out of ideas i shouted again
"..you know what's the time now ?..it's 1:10 !!.."..
she says .."ya, it's 1:00 "..
i shout "sleep now !!"..
the phone is disconnected..

..The next morn, when i wanted to check if aish remembered any of this herself, i didn't mention her a thing. was giving her clues..she was oblivious of the whole scene last night !!..

and when i narrated this to her..she was laughing..not at herself..but, the one who had called me..

she says she had changed her alarm time from 5:00 am to 5:15 am..and guess she slept thinking about it..

i just marvel at the power of our minds..
the constant fight between the Id, Ego and the Superego..

i know few people who "programme their mind" to wake up at a particular time..
and they wake up !!..

and many a time, when i HAVE to wake up, i keep two alarms..one usual..the other hidden ( such that my lazy subconscious would not find it..)..and surprisingly, i never use 'em both :) ...